Let Me Try To Explain...
A couple of days ago, I shared a post on Facebook about transactional vs. transformational relationships in the Church.
It stirred something.
Messages came in. Comments followed. One person messaged me and asked a simple but honest question:
“What does that actually mean?”
And it hit me — this conversation needs more space. Because this isn’t just a social media moment…
It’s a prophetic issue.
It’s a relational wound.
It’s a spiritual reformation.
So this blog is an extension of that post. It’s an invitation to dig deeper — not just with our minds, but with our hearts. If you’ve ever felt used, unseen, or like love in the Church was conditional...
Or if you’ve unknowingly measured people’s worth by what they give or do…
This is for you.
Let me try to explain — vulnerably, prophetically, and prayerfully.
🤝 Transactional Love in the Church
Transactional relationships operate in subtle ways.
They say:
“I’ll show up for you if you show up for me.”
“I’ll support you — as long as it benefits me.”
“I’ll love you — until it costs me something.”
It creeps into our communities like a quiet virus:
We pour into the visible and forget the hidden.
We honour the gifted and overlook the grieving.
We reward performance but ignore pain.
We say “family” but behave like a business.
And here’s the heartbreaking part:
When the transaction ends… so does the connection.
People begin to feel like products.
People burn out.
People walk away — not from God, but from the machinery we’ve called “Church.”
And I believe this grieves the heart of the Father.
🕊️ A Prophetic Picture: The Cracked Communion Table
Recently, in prayer, I saw a vision:
A long wooden table set for a meal — elegant, prepared, even sacred. Plates were arranged. Chairs were pulled out. It looked like it was ready for communion.
But as I looked closer, I saw deep cracks down the center of the table — as though the weight of something unseen was pressing too heavily on it.
And the Holy Spirit whispered:
“This table was never meant to carry the weight of transaction. It was built for communion.
But My people have turned My table into a marketplace.”
In that moment, I knew this wasn’t about furniture.
It was about us. About how we’ve turned covenant spaces into strategic ones.
How we’ve allowed metrics to replace mercy, and performance to displace presence.
God is calling us back to the table — not as consumers or workers, but as sons and daughters.
🧍♀️ I’ll Go First — My Confession
I’ve contributed to this culture.
There were times I showed up only when it served me.
Times I ignored the overlooked to invest in the influential.
Times I measured people’s value by their usefulness.
Times I said “kingdom” — but what I was building looked more like control.
And while none of it was intentional…
The Holy Spirit still put His finger on it and said: “That’s not My way.”
So here I am — repenting.
Turning.
Learning to walk in the slow, inconvenient, holy way of covenant love.
❤️ Jesus Doesn’t Love Transactionally
Jesus never said:
“I’ll call you if you impress Me.”
“I’ll stay with you if you succeed.”
“I’ll love you if you serve Me perfectly.”
He called us while we were still sinners.
He stayed with us when we strayed.
He walked with us in seasons of silence and rebellion.
He laid down His life without a guarantee of return.
Jesus doesn’t extract value — He gives it. And He’s calling us to love like He does.
Not to build faster.
Not to grow bigger.
But to love deeper.
Because that’s where transformation begins.
🔥 Prophetic Declaration: The Spirit of Transaction Is Breaking
I hear the Spirit of God saying:
“I am confronting every counterfeit connection.
I am overturning tables of performance.
I am healing hearts that were used, not loved.
I am calling My Church back to communion — to covenant — to Me.”
This is not just a personal invitation — it’s a prophetic reformation.
God is:
Tearing down performance mindsets
Healing the addiction to usefulness
Breaking fear-based love
Exposing relational agendas
And calling His people back to real connection
This is a holy moment.
🪞 Heart Check: Where Has Transaction Lived in Me?
Take a moment and invite the Holy Spirit to search you.
Ask:
Have I withheld love from those who can’t give back?
Have I shown up only when I’m seen?
Have I loved with strings attached?
Have I treated people like projects instead of image-bearers?
Let Him show you.
Let Him heal what’s surfaced.
Let Him restore the way you connect — with Him and with others.
🙏 Prayer of Repentance & Return
Lord, I repent for every way I’ve made love a transaction.
For treating people like platforms or problems.
For measuring value by usefulness.
For building systems instead of family.
Break every agreement I’ve made with performance.
Heal the places in me that love with fear.
I return to Your table — not to earn, but to belong.
Make me more like You, Jesus.
Amen.
✨ Prophetic Activation: Return to Covenant
This week don’t just read this — live it.
1. Send love to someone who can give you nothing in return.
No agenda. No strings. Just grace.
2. Ask the Lord, “Who have I avoided because they don’t benefit me?”
Then, do the opposite. Love them. Reach out. Honour them.
3. Take communion — intentionally.
Not out of routine, but as a prophetic return to the table of covenant.
Break bread and let the Lord reset your heart.
🔚 Final Charge
Let the transaction die.
Let performance lose its grip.
Let every counterfeit connection fall away.
And let the transformation begin.
Because the Church Jesus is building doesn’t run on strategy —
It runs on Spirit and covenant love.
We don’t need more efficiency.
We need more presence.
We don’t need more polished people.
We need faithful ones who will walk with others when it’s messy.
We don’t need another table of exchange.
We need the table of communion restored.
Let it begin with us.
Let it begin with me.
Part Three: From Covenant to Contract: How the Church Became Transactional - CLICK HERE
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