Returning To The Heart Connection

This message isn’t just a moment for me—it’s a movement that’s been quietly growing in my heart for years. Since 2016, I’ve been wrestling with the deep ache I see in the body of Christ: people slowly slipping through the cracks of church life.

Not because they stopped loving God…

But because somewhere along the way, they stopped feeling like they belonged.

I’ve had the honour of pastoring alongside my husband in several churches over the years, and I’ve carried a front-row view of both the beauty and the brokenness of church life. I’ve celebrated mountaintop moments and grieved silent exits. This burden hasn’t come overnight—it’s been built through years of prayer, watching, listening, and walking with people.

Recently, I shared some of these thoughts in a simple post on Facebook. It was raw and real—and the overwhelming response confirmed what I already sensed in the Spirit: this is a conversation we need to have.
That post became a spark, and from it, I felt the Lord prompting me to begin a 21-part series titled:

Rebuilding the Church: From Transaction to Transformation
A journey back to covenant, presence, and Kingdom culture.

This blog is an extension of that original post—and a prophetic invitation to return to the kind of Church Jesus came to build.

Let me say this clearly:
I love the Church.
I believe in her beauty, her purpose, her power, and her potential. I’ve seen God move through her in ways that have left me in awe. But I’ve also seen her spots and wrinkles. Her blind spots and bruises. Her busyness and burnout. Her beautiful, messy, fragile humanity.

And in that mix of glory and grit, I’ve seen something quietly harmful emerge:
We’ve become good at building around doing rather than around being.

We’ve unintentionally created environments where people are known for their role, their performance, or their output—but not for their hearts.

Where relationships become transactional: What can you do for us?

Instead of transformational: How are you, really?

That’s not the kind of Church Jesus envisioned.

Jesus didn’t build crowds just to fill a room.

He stopped for the one.
He noticed.
He lingered.
He listened.

He wasn’t impressed by platform—He was drawn to pain.
He didn’t gather the most gifted—He gathered the willing. The wounded. The overlooked.

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?”
— Luke 15:4

This is the heartbeat of the Gospel:

To see the one.
To seek the one.
To make sure no one is left behind, unheard, or unseen.

Not because it was shocking, but because I’ve heard it too often. As a pastor, this is one of the most heartbreaking things I hear again and again—people walking away quietly, not because they’ve lost faith, but because they’ve lost connection. Because somewhere along the way, the Church stopped feeling like home. And that matters deeply.

Let’s be honest—we live in a world that values hustle, metrics, and performance. And sometimes, without even realizing it, the Church has mirrored that culture. We start measuring people by their usefulness, not their presence. We start rewarding performance over process. Let me paint the contrast:

We may not do it intentionally, but when people are only known by what they bring, they begin to question if they’re wanted when they’re empty.

If you’re reading this and you’ve felt overlooked, undervalued, or disconnected, I want to speak directly to you:

You are not forgotten.
Your presence matters more than your performance.
You are not needed because of what you do—you are needed because of who you are.
A son.
A daughter.
A vital, living, breathing part of the Body of Christ.

There is still a seat for you at the table.
You don’t have to earn your way back.
You don’t need to “get it all together.”
You just need to come as you are.

Maybe you’ve been faithfully holding the fort—serving, leading, showing up consistently. Here’s my question:

Who’s grown quiet in your world?
Who’s sitting further back?
Who used to be vibrant and now just slips in and out?
Who’s missing that you haven’t followed up with?

This might be your invitation to pause—to see, to notice, to reach out. Because we don’t build the Kingdom with polish or perfection. We build it with people. One heart. One conversation. One connection at a time.

Bridging the Gaps: A Story from Our Church Journey

Let me share a story with you.

When my husband and I first stepped into pastoral leadership at a new church God had called us to, one of his roles was to follow up with people who had filled out newcomer cards. As he went through them, he noticed one card that had been sitting untouched for over a year. Despite the time that had passed, he reached out anyway.

To our amazement, the woman and her husband came to church. Praise Jesus—they came! But it also made us wonder… how many others like them have quietly slipped through the cracks in our churches?

This simple act of follow-up became a reminder: we must do better.

Let’s be intentional. Let’s prioritize transformational relationships over transactional routines. Let’s bridge the gaps with love, care, and consistency—because people matter, and every connection is a chance for someone to encounter Jesus.

A table of covenant, not convenience. A house of presence, not performance. A community of Kingdom culture, not competition. We are not rebuilding a system. We are rebuilding a family.

Father,

We come back to Your heart—a heart that longs for presence over performance, people over platforms. Forgive us where we’ve drifted into doing instead of dwelling, building systems instead of relationships.

Restore true connection—first with You, then with one another. Make our homes and churches places of love, trust, and shared burdens. Heal what’s been broken, reignite what’s grown cold, and help us build Your kind of Church—rooted in communion, not convenience.

Start with us, Lord. Reconnect us to You and to each other.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen.

• Are we building ministries that truly disciple people, or just use them?

• How do we model presence over performance?

• Do we notice when someone’s heart is hurting—or only when they miss their roster?

• Are we building ministries that truly disciple people, or just use them?

• How do we model presence over performance?

• Do we notice when someone’s heart is hurting—or only when they miss their roster?

• Send a message to someone who’s gone quiet.

• Ask one person this week: “How are you—really?”

• Invite someone to your table who’s outside your usual circle.

• Pause and ask the Holy Spirit: Who am I overlooking?

Disclaimer

This series is not written as a critique of any one church, leader, or denomination — but as a prophetic reflection on a culture many of us have experienced or contributed to. My heart is for the Church — to see her healed, restored, and walking in covenant love again. If you're a pastor or leader, please know this is not an accusation — it’s an invitation. May we all be willing to let God search our hearts and shape us more into His image.